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_**No-holds-barred send-up of Indiana Jones with Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone**_ In the early 1900s a beautiful blonde, Jesse Huston (Sharon Stone), hires white hunter/adventurer Allan Quartermain (Richard Chamberlain) to find her father who went missing during his expedition to find the fabled King Solomon’s Mines in southeast Africa. Herbert Lom and John Rhys-Davies are on hand as heavies. Many moons ago I saw clips of “King Solomon’s Mines” (1985) and wrote it off as a campy knockoff of “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (1981), which of course was hugely successful and inspired several immediate imitations, like “Romancing the Stone” (1984) and “Firewalker” (1986). I thankfully finally decided to give it a chance because, while it IS a knockoff of “Raiders,” it’s the best I’ve seen so far. It’s at least as entertaining as “The Mummy” (1999), albeit not a blockbuster like that film. Before you check it out, you have to be braced for a Grade B send-up with the corresponding preposterous frolics. Yes, it’s like Indiana Jones, but more over-the-top with a lower budget. If you can get on board, this is a wildly entertaining fun-adventure flick that’s colorful, cartoonish and thrilling with impressive African locations. It bends over backwards to amuse with Victoria Falls, jungle portages, market-place romps, steam-engine escapades, wild animals (lions, crocs, snakes and a colossal spider), threatening cannibals, a hideous witch-queen, deadly swamps, hellish caves and more. I should add that the spider is only a few notches above the ultra-cheese you’d see on Gilligan’s Island. On the female front, Stone is stunning before she became famous and I’m not even a fan. The creators don’t fail to display her beauty in a tasteful way as her shorts get shorter and shorter. She has magnificent legs. The film runs 1 hour, 40 minutes, and was shot in Zimbabwe. GRADE: B+
H. Rider Haggard's "She" and "King Solomon's Mines" novels have proved the inspiration for loads of action adventures over the years, but I doubt even he would appreciate this derivative effort. In a style that's more akin to "Carry on Quatermain", we meet "Jesse" (Sharon Stone) who is trying to track down her lost long father. He set off into the jungles of ancient Sheba trying to find the legendary mines full of jewels. She engages the help of the legendary hunter "Quatermain" (Richard Chamberlain) and off they set on their quest. Meantime, the megalomanic Bosch colonel "Bockner" (Herbert Lom) has engaged the services of the duplicitous "Dogati" (John Rhys-Davies) for exactly the same purpose - and so it's a race! To be fair to Chamberlain, though a hero in the style of Stewart Granger, Harrison Ford or Sir Cedric Hardwicke he isn't, he does look like he's enjoying himself here in this mess of film as he chucks his dynamite hither and tither. Lom is also hamming it up as if he were back in his full "Pink Panther" pomp, but it's Stone who really let's the side down. She just doesn't seem to enter into the spirit of this romp at all enthusiastically. She's not got the enthusiasm of a Karen Allen nor the slightly aloof dignity of a Deborah Kerr and really contributes very little. JR-D is always in hIs element with these kind of roles and takes to it like a croc to water; a considerably more animated one than the actual ones we see that mix archive ferociousness with real time valerian. It hits the ground running with loads of adventures, but the CGI is pretty obvious before a denouement that's just crying out for a song. It's entertaining, in a perverted sort of fashion, but could never be described as good.
Corporate billionaire Edward Cole and working class mechanic Carter Chambers are worlds apart. At a crossroads in their lives, they share a hospital room and discover they have two things in common: a desire to spend the time they have left doing everything they ever wanted to do and an unrealized need to come to terms with who they are. Together they embark on the road trip of a lifetime, becoming friends along the way and learning to live life to the fullest, with insight and humor.
Seasoned adventurer and treasure hunter Dirk Pitt, a former Navy SEAL, sets out for the African desert with his wisecracking buddy Al in search of a confederate ironclad battleship rumored to have vanished long ago, the main draw being the treasure supposedly hidden within the lost vessel. When the daring duo come across Dr. Eva Rojas, a beautiful scientist who is juggling an escape from a warlord and a mission to stop the spread of a powerful plague, their desert expedition begins to heat up.
Mere seconds before the Earth is to be demolished by an alien construction crew, Arthur Dent is swept off the planet by his friend Ford Prefect, a researcher penning a new edition of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."
A top Marine sniper, Bob Lee Swagger, leaves the military after a mission goes horribly awry and disappears, living in seclusion. He is coaxed back into service after a high-profile government official convinces him to help thwart a plot to kill the President of the United States. Ultimately double-crossed and framed for the attempt, Swagger becomes the target of a nationwide manhunt. He goes on the run to track the real killer and find out who exactly set him up, and why, eventually seeking revenge against some of the most powerful and corrupt leaders in the free world.
Young Augusten Burroughs absorbs experiences that could make for a shocking memoir: the son of an alcoholic father and an unstable mother, he's handed off to his mother's therapist, Dr. Finch, and spends his adolescent years as a member of Finch's bizarre extended family.
After Dick Harper loses his job at Globodyne in an Enron-esque collapse, he and his wife, Jane, turn to crime in order to handle the massive debt they now face. Two intelligent people, Dick and Jane actually get pretty good at robbing people and even enjoy it - but they have second thoughts when they're reminded that crime can hurt innocent people. When the couple hears that Globodyne boss Jack McCallister actually swindled the company, they plot revenge.
A wrongfully convicted boy is sent to a brutal desert detention camp where he must dig holes in order to build character. What he doesn't know is that he is digging holes in order to search for a lost treasure hidden somewhere in the camp.
A Coca-Cola bottle dropped from an airplane raises havoc among a normally peaceful tribe of African bushmen who believe it to be a utensil of the gods.
Two couple of friends, one very rich, the other almost homeless, decide to go on Holiday. Julie, a single mother, joins them too. Once at seaside, it starts a complicate love cross among them that will involve also a transsexual, a jealous brother, a Latin Lover and another nervous stressed couple. Not to mention about the daughter of one of them that is secretly in Chicago with one of her father's employees... At the end of the summer, all of them will join the same party...
Steve Coogan, an arrogant actor with low self-esteem and a complicated love life, is playing the eponymous role in an adaptation of "The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman" being filmed at a stately home. He constantly spars with actor Rob Brydon, who is playing Uncle Toby and believes his role to be of equal importance to Coogan's.
An immensely rich farmer lives peacefully with his family in Pala and has no idea about the hectic metro life. He gets introduced to it when he hides a love-stricken couple in his house.