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**The following is a long form review that I originally wrote in 2012.** The movie is incredibly convoluted, so it's hard to know what to say that definitely won't end up being a spoiler, so maybe it would be better if I just stuck to talking about the actors, as it's a crazy bunch of them for McDonagh to bring together. Don't believe the trailer, and certainly don't believe the posters. _Seven Psychopaths_ has nothing to do with either of them. Olga Kurylenko (_Max Payne, Quantum of Solace_) is shamefully under-used, but at least Martin McDonagh acknowledges that his film's female characters are not a focus point, and their weakness is his own failing (in a rather surreal way). I've adored her ever since I first saw her in _Hitman_, and was absolutely blown away by her _Centurion_ performance. Though she does practically nothing here, it's always fantastic to see her get more work (particularly in such a great film). Woody Harrelson (_Natural Born Killers_, _Defendor_) has also been one I've kept my eye on for some time now. He's a believable psychopath, a strong actor, a funny dude and he has great presence. I've yet to be annoyed by him. Ever. Sam Rockwell (_Choke, Iron Man 2_) has only recently gained my appreciation, but fuck is he great. I'd seen him and loved him in so many things before, but I never drew the connection. Now in _Seven Psychopaths_, I feel he has his strongest role to date, moreover, he is certainly the greatest character of the film. Abbie Cornish (_Limitless, Sucker Punch_) is Australian. I'm Australian. So there's that... No, she's great, I just never really locked her in as a favourite like I do with so many others. Again, in _Seven Psychopaths_, that's not fault of her own. The script allows little room for women, which is unfortunate, but well handled. She gets much more screen time that Olga Kurylenko, but it would still have been good to get more of her. Christopher Walken (_Pulp Fiction, Sleepy Hollow_) is the sort of guy that I'd watch a movie just 'cause he's in it, and I don't even know why. Collin Farrell (_In Bruges, Fright Night_) meshes with me spectacularly poorly. It's hardly like I hate the guy or anything. He's a perfectly adequate actor with a great accent, I guess I just never got the hype. He manages to be the star of _Seven Psychopaths_, but have the show stolen out from under him by pretty much everyone else on screen. It's rare that I give a film a rating of 80% or more, so if that means anything to you at all, then I implore thee, go watch _Seven Psychopaths_, it's well worth the price. 84% -_Gimly_
’Seven Psychopaths’ didn’t quite do it for me. It’s not far adrift from being a good movie, I just wasn’t able to connect to it in the end. It kinda has similar issues that I found with this director’s previous film, ’In Bruges’; it’s better than that one, mind. The comedy is lacklustre and the cast don’t feel at their best. Colin Farrell, Sam Rockwell, Christopher Walken and Woody Harrelson being in the same flick is a recipe for success, so I am disappointed to say that I didn’t rate this one. The story has some solid moments and in summary is intriguing, though how it is all connected together with everything in-between and how it’s portrayed to us simply didn’t satisfy me unfortunately. His early two films have surprisingly disappointed me, thankfully Martin McDonagh followed them up with two absolute crackers. I hope his upcoming fifth release follows suit.
Thomas, a naive young dental student, faces a rather difficult challenge. His millionaire aunt, a bit of a sex nut, will give both him and his dental school millions if he can prove that he is sexually able and skillful. His schoolmates hear rumors of this trial, but understand the challenge to be for him to keep his celibacy.
A gangster escapes jail and quickly makes plans to continue his criminal ways elsewhere, but a determined inspector is closing in.
Josie Alibrandi is 17 and doesn't know where she belongs. This year, however, everything is going to change. Josie will face her fears, uncover secrets and even discover the true identity of her father.
A country boy becomes the head of a gang through the purchase of some lucky roses from an old lady. He and a singer at the gang's nightclub try to do a good deed for the old lady when her daughter comes to visit.
Billa, a powerful outlaw with a long list of enemies, kills Rajesh, a member of his gang, after he quits the criminal life. But Rajesh's fiancee and his sister pledge to take revenge on Billa.
Mary Gray elopes to Atlantic City, NJ, but begins having second thoughts about the marriage. Then she becomes inexplicably locked in her hotel room, and a series of cops, robbers and kidnappers passes through. Desperate, Mary trusts the shifty chambermaid Clara who whisks her away to the mansion of wealthy George Blaine. There, Mary must pretend to be a lowly cook, but that seems better than sticking with the guy she was engaged to.
Welcome to T & A High, where the entire student body including campus virgin Purity Busch, chronic masturbator Melvin Jerkovski, repressed Principal Stuckoff and blonde bombshell Bootsie Goodhead all must rise to the challenges of freshman breast exams, bikini cheerleader attacks, inappropriate uses of bowling ball holes and much more.
The recently deceased Mona Dearly was many things: an abusive wife, a domineering mother, a loud-mouthed neighbor and a violent malcontent. So when her car and corpse are discovered in the Hudson River, police Chief Wyatt Rash immediately suspects murder rather than an accident. But, since the whole community of Verplanck, N.Y., shares a deep hatred for this unceasingly spiteful woman, Rash finds his murder investigation overwhelmed with potential suspects.
Rose Morgan, who still lives with her mother, is a professor of Romantic Literature who desperately longs for passion in her life. Gregory Larkin, a mathematics professor, has been burned by passionate relationships and longs for a sexless union based on friendship and respect.
Three beautiful Space Babes find themselves stranded on Earth when their spaceship runs out of energy after a dangerous encounter with their mortal enemies, the Scrotes. Once they discover human sexual arousal can recharge their ship, they accept the help of a lonely farm boy to harness energy at a local strip club and get back home — all while avoiding the nasty Scrotes.
Joe Velasco is awarded parole for good behavior, promising to live life as a reformed man and avoid the underworld activities which landed him in jail. But almost immediately following his release, a series of occurrences begin to steer him back towards the road to ruin.