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The low point for the _Critters_ franchise. Surpassing the third film to become the new bottom rung on the ladder. Wouldn't have been surprised to learn that the creatives behind _Critters Attack!_ had been given only a passing overview on the four films preceding it. _Final rating:★★ - Had some things that appeal to me, but a poor finished product._
"Critters Attack!" is a strange film to review. I honestly think this film was not made with reviews in mind. No, I mean really not made with reviews in mind, because it's hard to get a bead on what they were truly going for here. It seems like a reboot, but then Dee Wallace is in it and indicates that the Crites have been around before, although she behaves more like Lee from the first two films so maybe she's really Terrence Mann in disguise (who is conspicuously absent; I was waiting for him to pop up as it just doesn't feel like a Critters movie without Terrence Mann)...I don't know. So, let's break this down. To start, you'll notice that, to the film's credit, they stick to primarily to practical effects. This is good as it's trying to at least feel like the original films. Honestly, CGI Crites would probably have been really bad. They even bring back the giant Critter Ball from the second movie, although still no human sized Crites as seen in the first film. Crites are puppets and should only be puppets, although at the same time, something about these new redesigned puppets feels a little off. They've always had big mouths, but now they've got flip-top heads. Eh... However, the practical effects bring up a real oddity to this film. There are also a lot of prosthetics used for the Crites to chew on. Now, in and of itself, that wouldn't be an issue. What makes it odd is that it makes this film much more violent and gory than the previous ones. I like a good gory horror flick as much as the next person, but something about it feels...strange in a Critters movie. The previous films are very tame by comparison, with only two people dying in the first movie. This isn't necessarily bad as people who watched the old movies have grown up and are more mature now, but it does throw you a little bit. Then we get to the script. This film feels like it was written by a first-year film student. It's nonsensical, goes all over the place with little focus, explanation, or even a satisfying ending, if you can even call it an ending since it just seems to stop. The characters are not well fleshed out and they resort to gimmicks to try and get us to remember some of them since they have no other characteristics, like a guy who's obsessed with bagpipes. Heck, I forgot younger boy in the main group was even there half the time since his gimmick is that he doesn't talk and only communicates by texting. They probably thought they were being funny, but instead it creates a major stumbling block. Overall, while it's still a pretty bad film, but you can at least tell that the filmmakers were fans of the original and were trying to do something of a tribute, and let's be honest, unless you're a fan of at least the original movie, you're probably not going to see this one. In fact, that's exactly what this feels like: An amateurish fan film. You're not missing much if you avoid it or never even knew it existed, like me until I stumbled upon it completely by accident. I kind of wish I hadn't.
Killjoy, the demon of vengeance, trickster god and killer clown has finally made it to Earth! Along with his gruesome crew Freakshow, Punchy and the sexy/psychotic Batty Boop, Killjoy is free to terrorize mortals in new and excruciating ways.
Confined to a mental hospital, young Kirsty Cotton insists her supposedly dead father is stuck in hell, controlled by sadomasochistic demons after being betrayed by his evil, occult-obsessed wife, Julia. Few believe Kirsty, except the thrill-seeking Dr. Channard, who is intrigued by the young woman's lurid stories. So when Kirsty and fellow patient Tiffany head to hell for a rescue, Channard and Julia are close behind.
When some very creepy things start happening around school, the kids at Herrington High make the chilling discovery that confirms their worst suspicions: their teachers really are from another planet!
After an Ithaca College student films his one-night stand with a beautiful sorority girl, he discovers one of his friends has accidentally mailed the homemade sex tape to his girlfriend in Austin. In a frenzy, he must borrow a car and hit the road in a desperate bid to intercept the tape.
The first manned flight to Mars returns after having been out of communications since it had arrived on Mars. What would it reveal?
Five young New Yorkers throw their friend a going-away party the night that a monster the size of a skyscraper descends upon the city. Told from the point of view of their video camera, the film is a document of their attempt to survive the most surreal, horrifying event of their lives.
An acclaimed college hoops coach is demoted to a junior varsity team after a public meltdown.
When odd reports are received through official channels stating that the President of the United States is being held captive on a secret international moon base called Vegan and that he has been replaced on Earth by a clone, the US Marshall Service immediately sends their 'best' man, Dix, on the mission.
Nearly thirty years after the strange disappearance of a Canadian baseball team, a recovered VHS tape reveals their shocking final moments as they're hunted down by a backwoods psychopath.
A recently-widowed science fiction writer considers whether to adopt a hyper-imaginative 6-year-old abandoned and socially-rejected boy who says he's really from Mars.
After escaping with Newt and Hicks from the alien planet, Ripley crash lands on Fiorina 161, a prison planet and host to a correctional facility. Unfortunately, although Newt and Hicks do not survive the crash, a more unwelcome visitor does. The prison does not allow weapons of any kind, and with aid being a long time away, the prisoners must simply survive in any way they can.