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Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Road Trip 2025 - Movies (Mar 28th)
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Well, still suffering from the man flu that induced me to watch the first (1983) version of this, I was curious to discover why it had taken four years to regurgitate it... Well, that might have been because it's a completely new team behind this slightly better iteration of "Conan" meets "Barbie". This time, the eponymous character (John Terlesky) hooks up with "Reena the Seer" (otherwise known as "Princess Evie" - Monique Gabrielle) and after a few adventures, they end up working together to battle the evil sorcerer "Jarek" (John Lazar), and an equally malevolent and nimble clone of herself, so she can reclaim her throne. As with the first film, it borders on the soft porn at times with Terlesky's clothing defiantly clinging on for grim death whilst all the ladies' garments go to the four winds. The plot is almost exactly the same as the earlier iteration for this hero, as is the ending and I wouldn't have been surprised if they just tinkered round the edges of what passed for the script too. To be fair, Terlesky has a little more charm to him, he looks like he knows this is awful and that he realises that he also getting paid. So too, does Gabrielle - but as an actress, she is pretty woeful. It's got pirates and Amazons to keep things lively, and as an action adventure in a sort of Peplum vein, it passes 90 minutes easily enough - just never again.
Wart is a young boy who aspires to be a knight's squire. On a hunting trip he falls in on Merlin, a powerful but amnesiac wizard who has plans for him beyond mere squiredom. He starts by trying to give him an education, believing that once one has an education, one can go anywhere. Needless to say, it doesn't quite work out that way.
A young British officer resigns his post when he learns of his regiment's plan to ship out to the Sudan for the conflict with the Mahdi. His friends and fiancée send him four white feathers as symbols of what they view as his cowardice. To redeem his honor, he disguises himself as an Arab and secretly saves their lives.
A Catholic school newcomer falls in with a clique of teen witches who wield their powers against all who dare to cross them - be they teachers, rivals or meddlesome parents.
A criminal subculture operates among U.S. soldiers stationed in West Germany just before the fall of the Berlin wall.
Elation in Neustadt: by the means of a little witching, Bibi Blocksberg saved two kids from burning to death. While her mother Barbara, a witch of flesh and blood herself, is very proud of her daughter, father Bernhard, overworked and stressed, disapproves greatly of her supernatural antics. Then Bibi gets a message from Walpurgia, the senior witch: she is going to receive her crystel ball, that will make a "real" witch of her, early. Proudly, Bibi jumps up her broom to fly to the Blocksberg, the witches' headquarters. But Rabia, one of the few evil witches, aging in misery and with a secret, begrudges her all the glory...and her youth. And so Rabia sets off events that will soon make Bibi's life fall into pieces.
Henry Durand is a young federal agent who is given a difficult assignment: spy on his mother and her boyfriend who is suspected of leading a gang of art thieves.
Summoned from an ashram in Tibet, Ace finds himself on a perilous journey into the jungles of Africa to find Shikaka, the missing sacred animal of the friendly Wachati tribe. He must accomplish this before the wedding of the Wachati's Princess to the prince of the warrior Wachootoos. If Ace fails, the result will be a vicious tribal war.
Tells the seemingly random yet vitally connected story of a set of incidents that all converge one evening at 11:14pm. The story follows the chain of events of five different characters and five different storylines that all converge to tell the story of murder and deceit.
After an Ithaca College student films his one-night stand with a beautiful sorority girl, he discovers one of his friends has accidentally mailed the homemade sex tape to his girlfriend in Austin. In a frenzy, he must borrow a car and hit the road in a desperate bid to intercept the tape.
A group of diamond thieves on the run kidnap the wife of a recently discharged marine who goes on a chase through the South Carolinian wilderness to retrieve her.
Better watch out! The big guy in red is coming to town once again. This time, Scott Calvin - also known as Santa Claus - finds out there's an obscure clause in his contract requiring him to take on a wife. He has to leave the North Pole to fulfill his obligations, or else he'll be forced to give up his Yuletide gig.