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Are you just about done with the anthology horror mini-revival? Sick to death of cinéma vérité? Well... I was about to say, "Move along, then; there's nothing for you here," but that wouldn't be fair on this movie OR you. If you're through with first-person perspective found-footage portmanteau horrors then fine, but just stay for one more. Please? Because it's a belter, this one. Last year's V/H/S was IMO terrific, but it had its flaws. The wraparound story and the first story proper gave the movie a disturbing early feeling of misogyny thanks to both stories' protagonists having sexual gratification of one manner or another as their principal reason for filming their actions, the film's running time struggled to cope with six tales being told, and the shaky first-person cameras were the shakiest of shaky, nausea-inducing cameras in the history of the first-person perspective. Thankfully for the sequel, nobody's shooting footage for the sake of amateur pornography (an early tit-shot establishes our wraparound-segment protagonist as a private investigator, but that's it until some much lighter, more jocular sex-filming exchanges in the last segment, of which more later), V/H/S/2 is telling five stories in all rather than six (hopefully by V/H/S/3 they'll have learned a further lesson: The wraparound stories are completely redundant, so let's ditch 'em), and that extra time is put to good use, and the shaky-cam... it's still there of course - goes hand-in-hand with the territory - but it's just nowhere near as bad. For the most part. So, to the stories themselves: "Tape 49" - The wraparound segment, directed by Simon Barrett (who wrote the wraparound segment for V/H/S - "Tape 56" - as well as the segment "The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger" for that earlier movie; he also wrote You're Next and the IMO excellent horror/western Dead Birds). Concerning a private eye and his partner on the trail of a missing student, they come across a house not unlike the one in the first picture, full of not much but stacks of old switched-on CRT televisions and VHS cassette players, and even larger stacks of VHS tapes themselves. They find a laptop with footage of the missing boy, sitting in that very room and explaining about how watching some of these VHS tapes in a certain order will... affect people. Quite how, I'll not say. Suffice to say though that while our private dick searches the house, his partner sits and watches the tapes (these are the four segments making up the main body of V/H/S/2), and trouble abounds. It's a big upgrade on the unlikeable wraparound from the first movie but it's still largely unnecessary and despite some good horror action towards the very end, it made little sense and was subsequently by virtue of its nature the weakest tale of the lot. Segment 1. "Phase I Clinical Trials" - Directed by Adam Wingard (You're Next, V/H/S segment "Tape 56", The ABCs of Death segment "Q is for Quack"), this is a fairly straightforward and derivative piece (The Sixth Sense? The Eye?) about a guy who, following an eye operation to replace his blind right eye with an experimental electronic eye which for the purposes of data collection records everything it "sees" (a fairly ingenious if slightly laboured use of the first-person perspective I thought, also neatly sidestepping the thorny "Why are they still FILMING?!?" issue that besets all of these sorts of films), starts seeing - you guessed it - dead people. Nothing original to see here in terms of the story, but Wingard's ever-improving directional skills keep the tension levels up and interesting throughout. Not an especially strong start, but a decent start. Segment 2. "A Ride in the Park" - Co-directed by the criminally-underrated Eduardo Sánchez (yes, him. Co-director of found-footage great-grandaddy The Blair Witch Project; also did the absolutely fantastic Altered, plus Seventh Moon and Lovely Molly) and his long-time producer buddy Gregg Hale, and co-written by Sánchez and his long-time writing partner Jamie Nash, this one came with heavy expectations and it didn't disappoint at all. A cracking flat-out zombie fest filmed almost entirely from the perspective of a cyclist's helmet-mounted Go-Pro camera. Our - hero? - Mike takes his bike out for a lovely early-morning spin through the park and is immediately attacked and bitten by a zombie, one of several ambling through these woods. He escapes, runs away, staggers, falters, drops to the floor and dies. Then he gets up. From there on in it's a zombie's-eye view of the carnage and gore, finishing with a flourish on a surprisingly touching note. For zombies, like. Excellent short story. Probably the best segment not only of this movie so far (it's certainly that) but of the V/H/S franchise so far. Until... Segment 3. "Safe Haven" - Another strong directorial collaboration here, this time between Gareth Huw Evans (The Raid) and Timo Tjahjanto (The ABCs of Death segment "L is for Libido"). Taking up 30 minutes of V/H/S/2's entire runtime (and worth every second), Safe haven concerns a documentary news crew who - using both conventional professional cameras and mics plus hidden "button"-cams - go to film the shenanigans at a remote Indonesian compound, in which is housed a "Heaven's Gate"-style Doomsday cult comprised of their enigmatic leader - The Father - his "family" of wives/lovers and (many) children plus other assorted cult members. It is implied that "The Father" is promoting and engaging in underage sex with some of the members, and it's this angle the news crew most want to pursue. They end up however with something very different. Managing to look and feel like an exquisite blend of the co-directors' other works The Raid and "L is for Libido" with a good dollop of Doom 3 or some other survival horror game thrown in for good measure, this short represents the best thing that either V/H/S movie has offered us thus far. It's creepy, then it's tense, then it's frantic and as gory as gore gets (all justifiably and within the context of a good tale well told, I might add). If there's a teeny-tiny criticism it could be that a practical visual effect at the very very end of the short (you'll know it when you see it) doesn't quite work and against the otherwise staggering look of all that preceded it, it's quite jarring. However, I'm nitpicking. "Safe Haven" is a superior piece and with a few dollars thrown at it could make an excellent and terrifying expanded movie in its own right. Segment 4. "Slumber Party Alien Abduction" - directed by Jason Eisener (Hobo With a Shotgun, The ABCs of Death segment "Y is for Youngbuck"). Eisener seems to be a bit of a "love him or loathe him" director. I WANT to like him but I find his output as frustrating as it is novel, and this is no exception. Essentially, a bunch of kids of varying ages have free reign over their lakeside house, and fill their time with happy, video-based tomfoolery including strapping a camera to their dog to see what he films, blasting one another with urine-filled water guns and busting in on one anothers' "intimate" time, be that one of the girls with her boyfriend or one of the doofus young teenagers with his hand, a porno and some time to kill. So far, so goofy. Until a violent attack by a band of hostile classic "Grey" aliens kicks off. It's a good idea and the story itself is fine, but this is the one short in the pack that continues to suffer badly from the first movie's shaky-cam syndrome. Once the action starts, you'll struggle to see what's happening. Good stuff, but frustrating. And coming as it does after two truly excellent segments, just a trifle deflating. So, segments 1 and 4 are of a standard comparable to the first movie, the wraparound piece is an improvement, but the middle two shorts are worth the ticket money on their own and elevate V/H/S/2 above its older sibling and above much of today's horror fare in general. Well recommended.
In the past I have only ever reviewed anthology films as a whole, and by-and-large that's probably what I'll go back to doing in the future, but having just watched the last three quarters of the original _V/H/S_, then _V/H/S/2_ and _V/H/S: Viral_ all in one sitting, it all sort of bleeds together and I mostly can't remember which one belongs where, so at least for now, I'm gonna try giving some very, very short reviews for each segment, rather than the overall films. **Tape 49**: The framing device. These were always the silliest part of the franchise. It doesn't work very well as a jumping off point, and it doesn't work at all as a self-contained narrative. **Phase I Clinical Trials**: Much better stuff from Adam Wingard, has some of the intensity found in the first _V/H/S_. One of the shorts I think would best translate to a full feature. Could benefit from some better acting though (could be said of all the segments, and isn't a deal breaker for me). **A Ride in the Park**: Really just one thing going on here, but that's fine for a short film that's just one part of an anthology. A first-person zombie movie shot from the perspective of the zombie is a pretty dope idea. Could have commited to the formula harder, preferably, but the way it is shot I guess makes sense in terms of the larger _V/H/S_ narrative. **Safe Haven**: The best of what _V/H/S/2_ has on offer. Not perfect, and unexpectedly made me bring out my glasses to read the subtitles, which I guess arguably clashes with not only the other segments but indeed the "Found Footage" idea overall. Still, solid entry. **Slumber Party Alien Abduction**: Probably the weakest. Weird choice to go out on. Tries to have fun but unfortunately just doesn't have the time to carry that idea to fruition before the desperate scramble for the "horror" in this found footage horror short. _Final rating:★★½ - Had a lot that appealed to me, didn’t quite work as a whole._
Contract killer Frank Zimosa has been hired for a ridiculously lucrative mission by the rich and powerful Jorge Mistrandia. The objective: kill a couple of people hiding in one of his European hotels. What would look like one of the simplest jobs Frank has ever had is about to turn into a living nightmare. He will soon realize he's nothing more than prey for Mistrandia and his army of mutated henchmen that have hiding in the hotel along with an ancient and unstoppable horror.
A psychotherapist journeys inside a comatose serial killer in the hopes of saving his latest victim.
After the Creed family's cat is accidentally killed, a friendly neighbor advises its burial in a mysterious nearby cemetery.
Two documentary filmmakers travel through alternate dimensions to uncover the truth about a graffiti artist who has vanished.
Real estate agent John Dante has a problem. He's stuck with a house he can't sell. Despite his best efforts, he can't seem to overcome the house's past and the macabre tales that precede it in this haunting anthology. In the first story, THE MORNING AFTER, a group of friends wake up from the party of a lifetime to find a nightmare in the form of the worst bug invasion any homeowner has ever seen. Then there's Freddie Cooper and his band, FREDDIE AND THE GOBLINS; a tale of how Freddie's band mates try to kick him out and get caught up in the young singer's growing psychosis. With his hopes of selling the house fading, John is horrified to hear the story of Robbie, a young veteran of the war in Iraq, who returns home to live with his father Brad in FATHER LAND. Something isn't right, though, as Robbie's dark secret slowly bubbles to the surface. As the house's dark past comes to life, John becomes weary and is convinced the house is cursed and unsellable.
In California, an old man grieves the loss of his wife and on the next day he also dies. However, the space soldier Eros and her mate Tanna use an electric device to resurrect them both and the strong Inspector Clay that was murdered by the couple. Their intention is not to conquest Earth but to stop mankind from developing the powerful bomb “Solobonite” that would threaten the universe. When the population of Hollywood and Washington DC sees flying saucers on the sky, a colonel, a police lieutenant, a commercial pilot, his wife and a policeman try to stop the aliens.
After the ordeal with Samara, Rachel and Aiden move to a rural town. But soon Rachel learns about the death of a girl in a similar fashion. To save Aiden, she must dig into Samara's past even further.
A group of strangers trapped in a farmhouse find themselves fending off a horde of recently dead, flesh-eating ghouls.
Martin Brundle, born of the human/fly, is adopted by his father's place of employment (Bartok Inc.) while the employees simply wait for his mutant chromosomes to come out of their dormant state.
A jaded homicide detective has been put on the case of a ruthless killer in the city of Chicago, who leaves a trail of horribly mutilated and dismembered corpses along with perversely ironic biblical quotes.
Premutos is the first of the fallen Angels, even before Lucifer. His Goal is to rule the world, the living and the dead. His son should pave the way for him and appears arbitrary throughout human history and is then recognized as some kind of monster. In the present time, a young man living in Germany begins to suffer from visionary flashbacks - of the lives he lived in the past as Premutos' son! He remembers how he appeared in the middle age, when mankind suffered from pestilence and during WWII in Russia. On his (earthly) father's birthday, a case containing some strange old book and a yellow potion is found in their garden, which was hidden by some peasant in 1943, who experimented with witchery in order to re-animate his deceased wife. Whe the young man gets in touch with the book and some of the yellow potion, he mutates into a monster and awakens an army of zombies, ready to bring back the fallen Angel Premutos and to disturb the little birthday party