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**See a boiled egg fly through the air from one mans mouth to another mans mouth and then back again - all in Technicolor!** Comedy - _negligible_. Interest factor - negligible. Original cast members - negligible. Audiences watching it in the theatres in 1994 - negligible. Box office gross - negligible. Farting noises - _absolutely_. Cartoon sound effects - absolutely. Disinterested/embarrassed performances - absolutely. Enthusiastic Russian actors who believe they are performing in a masterpiece - absolutely. After watching this movie I had forgotten how to smile. I saw somebody else laughing and I had to ask them what they were doing with their face and what the _unusual sound_ meant.
**An unnecessary film.** Sometimes it seems producers have a hard time understanding when a movie shouldn't be made. The “Police Academy” franchise should have ended in the sixth film, and even then it would be ending up pretty worn out. This film, made several years later, was an effort that was simply needless and certainly leaves no one with good memories. After seeing the movie, I was really sorry that the franchise ended with such a bad movie. It was something that, for me, should have been avoided. “Police Academy” was one of the most interesting and successful comic franchises of the 80s, and there are still many people who have fond memories of these films today. I myself, as a child, saw them several times on television. The script is perfectly idiotic and a simple excuse to take some of the characters in the film to post-Soviet Russia, where they must help the local police to fight a big mobster who is turning into an oligarch (one of many that, as we know, emerged from the ashes of the communist regime, fat with shady deals in which the Russian people ended up losing). It's an unhappy, poor script made by incapable people. Humor, on the other hand, is completely absent. I don't laugh for a single minute. The cast, which until now had been relatively stable (with the absence of several actors starting from the fourth film), had completely collapsed, and most actors refused to be part of this project. George Gaynes is back, but his character, Commander Lassard, looks simply like an old man with Alzheimer's (with all due respect to anyone suffering from this serious illness, don't get me wrong). Gaynes is not funny, and his performance here is disgraceful. Michael Winslow also tries to make some of the jokes he's already used to us, taking advantage of his vocal skills... but he doesn't have the material or time and what he does has no freshness or novelty. Sir Christopher Lee makes a brief appearance in the film, and as far as I can understand, he did so as a favor to the producer. Friendship is a beautiful thing, and also professional courtesy, but I bet Lee won't want to be remembered for this movie (and he certainly won't, he's done better things, as we know). Who ends up standing out in some way is Ron Perlman. The actor, who we know for other, much more dignified works, tried to be funny and give some dignity to his character. Meritorious, respectable, but unworthy of the actor he is. The rest of the cast is not worth mentioning. Are there any redeeming qualities in this film? To be honest, I don't think so..., but even so, I feel obliged to make a small caveat: I liked the fact that they did a lot of the filming in the real city of Moscow and that they used real Russian extras and Russian speakers. This gives the film a certain authenticity that deserves to be highlighted, and which is most lacking nowadays, where any piece of green or blue screen replaces a real set and saves a few dollars on the production budget. However, it must have taken courage and some dose of madness to try to make a film in the midst of the political and military upheavals Russia was experiencing in those years.
'Police Academy: Mission to Moscow' brings this franchise - as it stands - to a close. It's not good, but it's not the worst of the series in my opinion; not that it's far off being so, more the case that I 'enjoyed' it a tiny bit more than the sixth entry. The cast feels bare-bones, at least in terms of the original bunch of characters. Bubba Smith dropped out for this, which is a loss, so only Michael Winslow, David Graf and George Gaynes stayed to complete the run of appearing in all seven films. It's actually away from them that you find the interesting performers, as Christopher Lee and Ron Perlman turn up. The former doesn't feature heavily, though the latter does and is alright I guess; as noted already, he is better than last time out's attempt. On the cast, the film has a crafted sequence at the end where it gives special mention to the key performers... via horse riding, no less. Given the obvious cuts to 'hide' the stunt performers, I'm surprised they went to so much effort for a short moment like that - must've had budget left over! I'm rather glad to have completed this franchise. Despite that and that none of these flicks scored positively, I actually didn't mind watching them. I might be being generous, but honestly they are relatively simple to watch; the filmmakers had the common sense to limit 'em to 80-90 minutes, which most certainly helps!
Two botcher killers, Paco and Alex carry out a crime caper. Later on, they are joined by Tatiana - a young whore, who shows great love for Alex. In pursuing its objective the losers will face a group of murderers, a butcher with dark business, a nasty gangster and a lot more...
A doctor and a mortician have teamed up to do re-animation experiments on corpses using gangster money loaned for "remodeling." When they can't pay it back, the Mafia guy sends his nephews to work at the funeral home to keep a watch on the debtors, but the nephews end up helping in the search for new bodies, and mayhem ensues when some undesirable types are re-animated.
After surviving an attempt on his life by his former partner, officer Cliff Garrett (Norris) exacts revenge on those who wronged him by going undercover as a hit man. He works to gain the reputation and trust needed in order to be accepted by the burgeoning Seattle-area criminal underworld, but it is all done in order to take it down from within.
The Gamache, tailors from father to son, have been dressing the Mafia family Paternò for three generation. Vincent "Vince" Gamache works on behalf of Frank the godfather with his eldest son Giaco. Vince, reckless and rash, seeks to earn his stripes by impressing the godfather. Without the Paternò knowing, he stages a big operation and is promoted. Fuming with jealousy, Giaco discovers that Vince committed a monstrous act during his stroke. The Gamache disown Vince and war begins.
A man is working for the mafia to hunt killers. He also meets Margot, who lives in a nearby villa, and begins to seek her attention.
The Topalović family has been in the burial business for generations. When the 150-year-old Pantelija dies, five generations of his heirs start to fight for the inheritance.
The fast career of a young Neapolitan among contraband, gambling dens, bribes and illegality. He will upgrade its rank till the maximum level of the "Family".
Simon and Zoé meet on Tinder. They live in the same suburban town and Zoé, wasting no time, invites him right over to her house. Simon can’t believe his luck! But once he arrives, he quickly understands that his date may prove more complicated than expected.
In real life, Kwon Yoo is unemployed, but in the virtual game world he is the best leader. Kwon Yoo is then framed for a murder. With the help of hacker Yeo-Wool, he tries to uncover the truth behind the murder case.
An innocent cab driver is mistaken for a contract killer and imprisoned. Soon, he is sprung by a mob boss who needs a "killer" for a few more jobs.
An American reporter smuggling news out of Soviet Moscow is blackmailed into helping a beautiful Communist leave the country.